It seems a daunting task… encouraging your children to use the internet – for fun, friendship & learning,,, yet shielding them from the filth we know is out there. There are sites which in one-click show adult content, and other sites where strangers lurk – waiting to pounce on the naive and those most vulnerable. Scary? Yes. Manageable? Most Definitely!Well — let me break it down and help with a common-sense strategy…
Internet use in our household is managed in 4 ways:
1) Location & Use
Our children have permission to use one computer without having to ask. It’s located in our kitchen (e.g. a heavily used area of the home), with the screen pointing into the open area (not to a private wall). One of the greatest ways to prevent misuse is simply to increase the odds that “you’ll get busted”! We don’t (and won’t) permit private in-bedroom use of the internet. Homework is done at our kitchen table, and there’s no reason for private internet use. What I’m saying is this – Your House, Your Rules.
We also don’t want our kids to become internet junkies. We desire well-rounded children, and insist on them getting exercise outside – playing with friends – reading books (with real ink & paper!) – swimming – biking, etc. For that reason, we limit computer use. We use a simple whiteboard and kitchen timer. It’s not an exact thing – but it helps keep everyone on the same page.
2. Web Enablers
The strategy with a Web Enabler is to create Easy Access to “Green Light” websites, that your family approves of. There are many Family-Friendly websites out there, yet getting to those sites means typing in the website address correctly – not an easy task for the very young and those without typing skills.
Main Family StartPage
This was the inspiration behind www.mywebstartpage.com.
It’s the only Web Enabling system designed with children in mind to our knowledge!
Each family member has their own page – loaded with websites that are age appropriate. Parents get to manage the sites each child has on their page – its a family decision. Add the sites you want. Delete the ones you don’t.
We’ve found that kids don’t stray away from the websites on their page – essentially they stay “inside the sandbox” with mywebstartpage.
3. Web Blockers
There are plenty of good internet management products out there that essentially screen & block inappropriate content. They filter the information that is shown on your computer screen, and completely block known “bad” websites (e.g. a “Red Light”). These blockers are able to be customized, so you can dictate what is acceptable / unacceptable for your family. Some of the more popular systems include: www.netnanny.com and www.cyberpatrol.com
The systems differ in cost, features, and level of proactive communication when inappropriate sites are being accessed. One system even makes cell-phone alerts to parents/guardians if desired.
Our family has chosen to NOT use a blocking system. Our children rarely use the internet without a parent in the room – and we take a view that may be different than some. If our kids accidentally stumble onto something inappropriate – we would see it as a discussion opportunity. Our kids are at an age where they actually listen and respect what we have to say – so we take full advantage of this special time to teach, teach, teach!
4. Communication & Expectations
As stated earlier, our family views many of the dangers of the internet as “good communication opportunities”. It represents the framework or overall structure for internet safety. We always try to use language they’ll understand, and at dinner – we talk about their day, their friends, and topics that they are genuinely interested in. It’s a great time to talk about Everything – and if you’d like to jump start things – just print out our Family Contract for Online Safety. Each dinner can be a discussion for one of the line items. For example – Line item #1: “I will not give out personal information without my parents’ permission. What a great time to discuss what personal information is, and why it’s important to not provide it to others without parental knowledge. This lesson extends to the telephone, school, friends AND the internet. Sometimes we make a game of these discussions with True/False questions – the kids really like doing that.
We also had our children read, understand, and sign the Kid’s Pledge — not as an official contract – but rather as a personal commitment to try and abide by these guidelines. Again – transgressions represent an opportunity. If you look at it that way, you won’t be so stressed out about keeping your kids safe online.
In summary, the internet is a great tool – but one that can be misused. A car is a great tool – but one that can also be misused. So, let’s use this tool wisely – by placing the computer in an appropriate location, communicate expectations for use, applying appropriate tools to block & enable website access, and engage our children in internet discussions!
I hope you found this post enlightening!
Best,
Kurt
